I wonder if losing your identity is anything like losing your religion

It is an interesting world we live in these days. People post the smallest goings on and expect the rest of the world to be excited about the fact that they just made a ham sandwich. Oddly enough, I am not impressed by such behaviors. However, it isn’t exclusive to just food. People drag on about anything, and it appears to be ten times worse if they are one half of a couple.

While this isn’t exclusive to just my generation, it is the age group where the problem is the most highly concentrated. Everything thing has to go up on Facebook or Twitter. “Seeing this movie with the the love of my life!!!!” “Spending the day with the best thing that has ever happened to me!!!!” “Lounging around with the best boy/girlfriend ever!!!!!!!!!!” So many exclamation points. I get it. You’re with your significant other and you’re happy. Is that really an excuse to abuse punctuation? I think not.

Then there are albums worth of pictures. Each one snuggled up to that person. Or kissing that person. Or sitting in the other person’s lap. The list goes on. Do we need photographic evidence of every single moment the two of you share? And does every adventure require a picture of the two of you kissing while you’re there? Ladies and gentlemen, I have the answer, and it is a stern no.

And finally, there are the wall posts. The constant posting to the other’s Facebook wall or Twitter feed about how wonderful the other is and how lucky they are that they found each other. And oh my gosh, I miss you so much, I haven’t seen you in six hours and the next two and a half until I see you next are going to kill me!!!! (Again with the f*cking exclamation points?!) Or where would I be in this world without you, you are so amazing!!! People, your significant other is not the only one that sees those posts. Everyone that that person is friends with sees them. And I promise you that no one likes them. Most of the world doesn’t appreciate public displays of affection unless you’re getting engaged, married, or renewing your vows. Other wise, all other forms of PDA are just annoying and make you look ridiculous. Posts are only appropriate if something horrendous has happened and you want to thank them publicly for being so supportive. Kind of like when my father got home from the hospital after he had a heart attack, but he thanked my mother, myself, my siblings, and everyone who offered kind words and thoughts for him while he was in the hospital. Still quite a large difference. Anything else can be left to a private form of communication. Like a private message on Facebook or Twitter. Or email. Or text message. Or a phone call. OR LOOKING THEM IN THE EYE AND SAYING IT TO THEIR FACE.

What I want to know is when did it become okay for your whole life to be about your significant other? I am not talking spouse or partner here, I am talking about a boyfriend or girlfriend that you are not living with. When did it become okay to allow ourselves to become completely wrapped up in the other person that we don’t have our identities anymore? Why is it okay for it to be John & Jane and not John or Jane? In the Facebook generation, we rarely look at couples as individual people because they don’t present themselves as individual people. They present themselves as a unit and you can’t have one without the other. I can never just invite my sister places anymore. She has to bring her boyfriend, too. Do you have any idea how much I miss my sister? And the woman lives with me! But I can’t tell you the last time I had a day or an adventure with my sister to myself. I have friends who are the same way. Anytime I try to hang out with a girlfriend, she asks if it is okay to bring her boyfriend. I am so tired of this that I just give in and say that it’s fine, but being a third wheel whether I am single or not makes me feel horrible. Why is me making this concession even an option? Am I really at an age where it is not okay to just hang out with a friend anymore if they’re in a relationship? When did this happen? Where was I when that rule was made?

These types of behaviors are particularly bad today. Valentine’s Day. I refuse to go on my Facebook today just because I don’t want to see the endless declarations of “love.” I understand that today was originally intended to celebrate love. But why do we need a specific day to celebrate love? Why can’t we celebrate love every day? Why do men and women need a specific day to do something special for their significant other? A mass regulated day for this makes the gesture forced and takes all the specialness out of it. Don’t you think your significant other would love it so much more and be so much more surprised by it if you gave them that gift on a day where they weren’t expecting it? If it was something really special, than then that day becomes a special day for the two of you, and a memory you can always look back on and go “Remember the random day that this happened?”

Fuck Valentine’s Day. Surprise me on a random Tuesday in May with a fancy dinner and flowers. And then tell me you love me for maintaining my own identity and not coating my Facebook in sickly relationship sweetness.


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